The promise of feeling nothing

No pain no guilt no shame

Can be tempting, mesmerizing

To hold emotion like a perfect crystalline symbol

If you’ve ever been to the wrong side of the right side

You know the further you run the harder it is to come back home

You want to see how far the rabbit hole goes, see how long you will last in wonderland

But the paths confuse you and you realize you’ve come too far and you want to go home, crawl into bed, hide from the monsters in the dark, hold in that sick feeling in your stomach

The shame is overwhelming

You pretend you can see yourself in the mirror

You’ll tell your friends and rivals you’re fine

But every time you glance and meet your eyes you flinch

Like an animal that can’t stare down it’s master