To tell the truth, when I loved men, it’s not that I hoped they would save me. It’s not because I hoped for a love that would let me reach my potential, give me the options and respect that were so much harder to get elsewhere. It’s because I had infinite faith and patience that something would change in the world and that to me, was it. To me romance and love was faith that the world would change. It was one and the same in the way I waited and hoped and gave my soul for a greater cause and ignored the present for a dream, no matter how impossible and how difficult the road.

I’m all out of faith

This is how I feel

Illusion never changed into something real

I never did stop crawling towards the light. The boys I met didn’t want to crawl or didn’t have a light, or both. And it took a long time to see them as they were, not as a reflection of me. I thought they were in such a better position than me and that they could give me some light and maybe they did for a moment, but you know, we’re moving in opposite directions. They’re sliding into obscurity. This is the real world, people going to where they are drawn because of a force we can’t explain. No one’s sitting still on a throne or on the streets, we’re all going in a direction.