the whole future

At some unknown time of night, he was asleep next to me, but I couldn’t sleep at all. It had been a good day, everything went well. He said all the right things. He was kind and interesting and exciting and passionate. But a dissatisfaction visited me that night and wouldn’t leave. I knew I’d have to leave in the morning. Maybe not this morning but one morning very soon. He asked me to imagine my whole future with him, so I did. I thought about it. Between a life of comfortable regret or uncomfortable hope, I chose hope. I hoped one day I would feel magic, even if it risked being alone forever.