Today I realized I was fighting for something I didn’t even want, suffering the defeat of losing something I didn’t really want. I suffered while I couldn’t decide, while I should have been deciding I was fighting

It’s over now and it hurts

It hurts because I let him in to my secrets and tricks and the motions of my dreams

I really let him know me all the damn way

And he said, maybe baby

I did the thing I was so scared of for so long

My heart is still alive