Brother I travelled the world with

Brother I sat in the backseat of cars watching the window and playing games and fighting

Playing in snow

Playing make believe with the furniture

Plays Lego Saturday morning with Indiana jones and building architecture and towers

Brother fighting over things and who can do what

Brother playing fashion show

Brother with cooler music than me

Brother I didn’t want to bring to the birthday party because they were cool kids but I got in trouble and brought him anyway

Brother going hiking in the woods and camping

Brother swimming in the lake together

Brother who liked dinosaurs and the color black until he got shy and started liking girls

Brother always going out because he was so popular

With good friends coming over for good conversations

Brother who wanted to be just like me

Brother who I wanted to show that everything was possible

Brother I would fight and conquer the world for so it could be easy for him

Brother slipping through my grasp

Because I love you as you are and I will never be happy again if you left I told him

And I’m devastated and heartbroken you felt depressed it must be so tiring I told him

He said thanks but the anxiety isn’t going away

The pills aren’t working I don’t know what to say anymore

He got mad at me for no reason it broke my heart and I have pride I have dreams so I stopped being his sister when he stopped respecting me

And when he threatened to kill me he didn’t love me anymore

When did you leave?

When do I start mourning?

Did I miss my chance?

Brother I don’t cry, I scream