Whenever I think about it

I’m three years old

Seeing my brother for the first time

When you’re a kid you just love something and you don’t think about it

You don’t know it’s a decision or if you have a choice

You don’t realize you might one day watch him punish himself to death

until he’s gone

and you never understand and you never like it

You don’t realize it’s a risk

I still don’t think about the risk very much

and I never want to

For some reason this idea comforts me