Intimacy

I used to think intimacy was telling people how broken I am

Describing all my traumas like points on a resume

Someone who accepts and loves you won’t do so for your trauma

It will be half, for sure but the other half is how you deal with life

How you deal when it’s bad and also how you enjoy it when it’s good

Turns out the most intimate things you can share are the moments you choose to keep going

Because it isn’t the strong that survive but the surviving that makes you strong

So here is a piece of my surviving

Here is a moment that is hard

I wanted to cry because everything I cared about had been going wrong slowly and steadily for the past few days or months or years

but instead I changed into a dress and went dancing and I smiled and made friends with strangers

I helped someone survive and someone helped me survive and this was a moment that stood out

That I will look back at my life and this will be a moment that defined a shape of me

But I was not alone this time

Usually I make miracles on my own

I didn’t know you at all

But that’s when I knew you were strong like me

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