Who am I today?

Let me explain how it works:

I want something,

And I come close

But it always slips away

And I beg and cry and scream for it

Later to find that I did not want it, not truly

And instead, someone had wanted me, had convinced me without my knowing, and all my crying was my skillful escape of a situation I did not want.

And the pain was the breaking of my own consciousness as I become more aware of my true self and desires and not the desires of others which I believed to be my own

So the only question I have now is,

who am I today?