The transform cycle

In tarot cards, they tell a story.

It starts with the fool card who goes off on a journey

A card it meets on the way is the wheel of fortune: this is where the fool experiences the ups and downs of life, teaching us that neither good nor bad fortune is permanent

The last card is ‘the World,’ which is interesting because it is the same wheel from the wheel of fortune, but turned on its side, and where one discovers the ups and downs of life are actually the natural cycles of the world going around.

That is why the world card respects the end of a journey, a lesson, a transformation cycle.

I thought about the ups and downs of a hopeful affair that was over before it ever began. I thought about the cycles where I felt I would be free at last, only to get pulled back in by pain and depression, depression that drew me to you, and the devastating lucid truth from which I tore myself away.

I thought about how I told you all my secrets, stranger who knows my secrets, and you listened at a distance like a good psychiatrist

I felt sorry for myself

I blamed others and myself

I attract the worst in people like this

I get hurt like this

And then swear revenge and in a rage transform myself to emerge as a new me

Me that thrives

And I do this over and over again

And I only wanted to identify with the triumph but today I learn that I am not only the triumph as the result of transformation, I am transformation itself, and I will always descend and rise, and descend and rise further

And so I accept my fate

And release myself from the fear of losing my treasures

Knowing this is how the world goes, and how I am willing to get hurt and hurt again and to heal and heal again because it is in my nature

And the courage to accept my own dangerous and magical life

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