Why do I feel shame for longing and wanting

Oh right

It’s not you

You throw shadows at me

Yet I am silent

And cloaked

I am not your woman

And you are not mine

Your words are not my words

My tears are not your tears

Let me try again

I am a phantom a ghost that you try to hold

This is not a movie a rom com a fairytale

This is the nothingness after the closing of the door

The silence of shock

The burden of forgetting

The lesson you cannot master

Here’s the last chapter, the epilogue

I found victory in the unlikeliest of places:

In becoming the man you were pretending to be

And yet,

I understand

And sympathize with the pain you felt that you threw at me

Understand it was sad, difficult, treacherous, wearisome

I understand wanting escape

I understand the weakness that prevents me from opening you

I’m sorry I would not accept what you had to offer

I try to understand because it’s the only way to let you go

To love you more until I can hear the bells calling my name, it’s time to go

To let go with love because everything dissolves into love in the end

Like the night turning pink with the sunrise