The idiot

Last year a guy I knew didn’t know how to spend time with me

Yesterday a man didn’t know how to escape his bad habits

Today someone else didn’t have the answer either.

I’m tired of knowing

I’m tired of teaching

My dad was like an idiot, I volunteer with autistic kids and even he knew how to love, and my dad wasn’t evil he just was abused and he had good intentions like a gentle giant and he would smile and point at the tree and try to explain with thoughts he didn’t have how much I mean to him but he could never show me the world he couldn’t build me a treehouse he couldn’t build a safe room for my dreams and instead he asked me to teach him how to love me, he came to me like a child

Im tired of him getting it wrong over and over and over and over

Even though he wants to learn

He never gets it right

And you make me feel like I was never supposed to be loved

It wasn’t my destiny

What is my purpose?

When I was 15 I told my dad I wanted to learn everything in the world

He got mad, what good would that do?

But maybe I’ll learn the answer

Of how to love

Maybe if I’m smart enough I can fix you so you can love me

Well I’m grown up now and you ask me to take care of you

As if I haven’t lost my whole life doing it

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