Father Archetypes and Reality

In astrology, the father is represented by the Sun, Jupiter, and Saturn. It doesn’t mean it is the biologically male parent, it is whichever figure enforced the most structure and discipline, so for me, the father figure is my mother, because her control and discipline overrode the decisions of my father. If we look at Jupiter and Saturn, we can understand the father archetype better. The most common archetype is Saturn, which in greek mythology is the father that devours the son. That is an expression of the extreme. In a more neutral expression, its purpose is to challenge the child which he knows will one day overtake his position, and so he needs to make sure he is worthy. Unlike the mother archetype, this is not a warm and accepting one, but it serves a different purpose. It is enforcing that the child understands and masters values and traditions. Jupiter represents the aspect of the father that is the search for truth, an expansive search, so that we can learn and understand the structure of the world. So both of these together represent the architecture of reality. The father defines reality itself, what is true. There are many different realities and truths that people are living. A stronger saturn nature in a person will make them more rigid about this, and enforce that all people do live under one reality, one truth, and that all our endeavours have a purpose, and someone with less of a saturn influence will have a much more relative nature, they will allow everyone to live under separate truths, but can be at the expense of having a personality that is less accountable or truthful to others. 

Reality is a structure created by the father, and it is a game because it has rules and objectives. Particularly when we are younger we try to take the game more seriously than it is, because that is the best way to become good at that game. Anything that is real is a game. The game of staying alive, the game of having a career. But relationships and the idea of self is also a type of game. We create rules and then we try to play its game. It is not necessary to take the game too seriously, and in fact when we try to define why the game is real, we see that it breaks down. When you try to figure out the purpose of why I am writing this, I start to think, it is to communicate ideas or express myself, or teach others. But then I think about the purpose of that, why I need to do that, and then the purpose becomes more and more abstract until it becomes impossible to find the ‘purpose’ of anything. This is why reality is only a game.

When I am trying to understand the reality that my mother created, this is so helpful to analyze because her influence hasn’t been helpful to me in navigating the life I want. Her discipline and control has been too extreme, and began before the age of seven, which is the age that children develop the ability to intellectually filter and understand pain. And so for me, when I try to live differently than the way she raised me, this is a significantly difficult problem.

For her the mode of control came down to money and sexuality. She gave me $200 for my birthday this morning, which I know is part of her game of control. I thought maybe I don’t want to buy anything. I thought about how I used to want to buy things as if it was an expression that I belonged somewhere, that I belonged to a stronger group, or that it made me a better person. I also felt the shame of not spending that money or the shame of having financial responsibilities. These are all really fascinating reactions to observe, and I realized that each one, whether I spend the money or not, how much I spend and why, all mirrors my exact relationship to my mother. And so the idea of money itself is a reality that my mother created around me. Not only how I spend it, but equally how I feel about the work that I do that creates it, any reactions I have to any situation at work with my coworkers, my boss, to my responsibilities, how much time it takes me to do a task etc. Sex is also tied to money because they are both about power.

Once I could identify what I was anxious about, and it is no longer a source of confusion, I now feel much more receptive to the healthier and moderate relation to the father figure I have in my father, the way he asked me to clean the house before I left Canada, the way he gave me the money for my birthday, as a part of his gift, the way he supports balancing writing and working and travelling, the way we negotiate how much money to spend or invest. They way I decide which people to be in my life. Yesterday he sent me a message about the importance of filtering the people in our lives:

“When choosing someone to work with or socialize with, do not be mesmerized by their reputation or be taken in by the superficial image they present. Train yourself to look deeply into their inner self and assess their character. A person’s character is shaped by their childhood experiences and daily habits. People repeatedly act in the same way and fall into negative patterns because of their character. Examine these patterns closely. Remember that people never do something just once–they inevitably repeat their behaviors. Pay close attention to how well they cope with adversity, how well they adapt to working with others, and whether they have patience and learning ability, so you can identify the relative strengths of their character. Always keep close those who consistently show signs of strength, and avoid the countless others who could bring you harm. Understand your own character from beginning to end, break compulsive patterns, and shape your own destiny yourself…from the Laws of Human Nature”

Such are the rules.