Anaesthesia

Look what you’ve done

Even in my fantasies of you

I can’t bear to touch you

I watch you from a distance

With contempt

When you try to call me

I explode with laughter

At your arrogance

When you attacked me

You killed my dreams of 

Loving you

They expired and rotted

Acidic fragrance in the summer heat

Under my bed

I wake up to find

Empty skins of beatles

The captivity of your hatred 

The cancer of your jealousy and betrayal

Like a surgeon I remove

It’s nodes from my chest

Without anaesthesia

Go now,

Drink your best liquor

Shaking like the devil

In your room alone

A heaving, difficult place

Where no one stays

Count the hours left of Mother’s Day

When I still won’t come home