The speaker

I watch the big tree from my window

The wind flirts with her big and little branches

I hear the ringing of rain droplets

I want to be as carefree like the tree

A shadow of some shame holds me frozen

It’s me, I am my own keeper, I am keeping me safe, I tell her not to run with the wind

Don’t run out the door without your shoes

Don’t face the moment with your face, show a better face a more pleasant face, a face that won’t break families and lives

I say ‘you’re wrong‘

She doesn’t hear me

I used to scream and cry with rage at this point

But today, today is a different day

A new day

I say with my new voice, my grown voice, an ancient voice

I know what they say about me, I know I am not who you expected to come to the door, when you asked for someone to come care about you, I know that today I have less money than yesterday, I am less skinny than yesterday, less friends than yesterday, one less brother than yesterday

But I am here and I came when you called

And I am more real than anyone else who chose not to come and face you

You with your monstrous majesty and gory power and hair like rivers of the jungle where no man has come back alive, and fingernails full of rich earth, you woman who cries terribly like the wolf

I am brave enough to to be here and face you

I am the bravest one you will ever meet

I have passed the test of self-acceptance

And I am worthy

And I am enough