Bendable me

Now I get less startled thinking about my brother being gone

Now I can connect the past and present knowing what he has been like then, how hard it was to convince him that life was in fact, beautiful

He was fading out slowly like the colors in a pair of jeans

I still have so many questions about things I want but can’t seem to get

Then I just say, ‘I don’t know’ and the things that should worry me escape into the air into nothingness

Some lifetimes ago I saw a city devastated

I thought I should save these people

But the city devastated me

I couldn’t find the answers to their questions about a better life

Instead I picked my own spirits up

Out of a tragedy I didn’t know I could escape

I surprised myself at the bendable reality

I found my power within the heat of terror